Jessie and TJ Visit Lagos

My friends Jessie and TJ came to Lagos the week before my Christmas Break. I met Jessie in college on Semester at Sea. Her and TJ got married this past summer, so they decided to plan their honeymoon to go where else but Lagos, Nigeria. It was great to actually have visitors! I have decided that Jessie should be a travel writer. Below I have included some of her writing about their time in Lagos. She does a nice job of describing daily how things work in Lagos. I realized that I had never really done that on this blog so I got permission from Jessie to paste some of her writing below.

“Two consulate employees met us inside the airport and made sure we got through immigration without any trouble and helped us get out with our bags. We had more stuff than we usually travel with because our friend, Carrie, ordered all kinds of stuff ranging from a computer hard drive to baby clothes and toys to gum & tennis balls for us to bring over. These are all things you can't find here and since Nigeria is the biggest internet fraud country in the world no one will ship here. Once we got outside we found Carrie and the van and driver her school sent to make sure we made it back to her apartment safe and sound.

Our trip from the airport to Carrie's apartment was a journey in itself. We saw poor villages where the residents don't have running water or a sewage system next to million dollar homes. Traffic is so bad that the streets are lined with guys selling items from cell phone cards to clothes to books about how to treat medical problems when a doctor cannot be found along with a guy selling rat poisoning with dead rats hanging from a stick to show that it really works. There are signs that say, "Pay your taxes!" "No Urinating (which I saw a guy urinating next to) and "Welcome to Nigeria where the happiest people on earth live." We got an introduction to traffic here, although it wasn't until the next day that it took us 2 hours to travel approximately 6 miles. There are occasional police stops staffed by civilians who rent the police attire from the actual officers so they can make a few extra bucks. There is also a division of officers who were all fired last year but the gov't didn't (forgot?) take their uniforms back so we have been told not to respond anyone in these uniforms.

Most of the teachers at Carrie’s school live on campus and her apartment is surprisingly nice and spacious. We are enjoying her steward who is a great cook and also cleans and does laundry. Carrie also has a driver, Sonny, who takes TJ and I wherever we want to go while Carrie goes to work except for the last day when we had planned our activities but Sonny went home sick and didn’t tell anyone so we waited around for him all day.

Carrie has students from 13 countries in her classroom and tuition is $15,000 a year, per student. Over 50% of the student's tuition is paid by their parent's company (Exxon, the Consulate, etc). The campus is enclosed by a huge metal security gate and razor wire and always has several guards on duty. The school increased it's security measures after a teacher was kidnapped last year while waiting for the security gate to open. She returned safely.

I'll fill you in on the next couple of days here soon! I need to go to bed now because I am getting up early to play tennis and then TJ and I are going to the market. It is kind of risky buying souvenirs here because we hear the guards at the airport will search our bags and claim that our purchases are "national treasures" and we need a certificate from the museum to permit them to exit the country. I hope they get lazy and don't check our bags or let me buy the "certificate" from them. What I find amusing is that there is a store just past the security point where all of the confiscated items are sold! People here are pretty creative when it comes to ways to make extra money. I guess we can't blame them though since the average salary is $55 per month and almost all of that goes to transportation, food and housing. (They got all of their items through the airport without a problem.)


Our first stop was a brunch for the staff at Carrie's school (and us). Everyone here has a steward who cooks, cleans, does laundry & irons and all of the stewards prepared delicious food for the brunch. There was also a gift exchange and the rule was that the gift had to come from the "go slow," which is where vendors sell goods where the traffic is so bad that you can't help but "go slow." Most of the gifts were amusing or painfully tacky but a couple were useful such as a knife set or pajamas. I won a red blow up clifford dog and gum that melts in your mouth.

From there we left for the Lekki market. I wish everyone could experience traffic here. A British lady I met last night summed it up when she said, "there isn't anything to go and see here, but you see many unusual things everywhere you go." It is not like being stuck on I-5. There aren't any traffic lights (ok, there is 1 in Lagos), rules or regulations and driving on the sidewalk is normal (even if you are only 1/2 on the sidewalk). The holes in the road make for scary obstacles, we see people arguing with the police and we aren't quite sure why and we've seen intense arguments that take place after small fender benders. I'm not sure car insurance really comes into play here. We've seen a scary van with a mean looking guy in a bulletproof helmet with an AK-47 and a t-shirt that said "Anti-Robbery." We aren't quite sure who he works for... It is an adventure in itself to try to get from point A to point B. We've been to this market twice now - the first time it took us 2 hours to get there and the second trip took us 10 minutes.
We were greeted at the market by a swarm of "boys." Since unemployment is so high here the people get creative and make jobs for themselves. Some people claim streets or parking lots and then charge you to park there. At the market these boys' "job" is to walk with you at the market and tell other people not to bug you. They also carry your purchases, help you find your friends, load your car, help you find what you are looking for and are even sort of helpful about telling you what things should cost. The market is pretty big, very hot and dirty so having a little buddy to help us find what we are looking for and telling people to back off was definitely worth a few of bucks! We've been to markets all over the world and would gladly have paid to have a little buddy make our shopping experience less stressful and more enjoyable. We hope this catches on in other parts of the world.

We picked up a few things we think are cool at the market. A few paintings, of course, some wood carvings, which we'll put in Carrie's freezer to make sure the termites (if there are any) are dead and a couple of other random things. We've all heard of the "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" monkeys, right? Well here there is a 4th monkey - "do no evil" and it is a monkey with both hands over his penis. Carrie thinks they added an extra monkey to make more money...sneaky! TJ found 2 VERY UGLY wood carvings of huge heads but I had to veto them because they were sooooo ugly. Carrie even refused to keep them at her place until her container is sent. That night Carrie and I went to another going away party for her friend in the Marines who is being transferred to S. Korea. The party was at "The Piano Bar," which is owned by a Lebanese dude. Carrie said he never lets her or the Marines pay so she was curious how he made any money. His restaurant/bar also took a hit after a group of armed people stormed the place, made everyone lay on the floor while they robbed them and left. The bar was full of consulate employees that night and they were forbidden to return for two months. I chatted with the owner, Shalim, for awhile that night and told me his primary business is catering and he serves 30,000 meals every day to oil company workers. That explains it! Shalim hosted drinks and dinner for everyone that night, provided entertainment and opened up his dance floor. There is something not quite right about a Nigerian jazz singer belting out "YMCA." We all had a great time!

On Sunday Carrie took us to a little shuttle boat that normally transports people to and from a beach and bargained with them to take us on a 2 hour tour around Lagos. Lagos is a major shipping port and is made up of several islands. The boat trip nice because we could cruise by areas that we probably wouldn’t have seen otherwise because of traffic, location or safety. We saw small waterfront villages that don't have running water, power or sewer, monstrous cargo ships, the city scape, a religious festival and a bunch of sunken boats that haven't been and may never be removed. It was surprising how many of them there are. It was also bizarre that we saw clothes drying on some of them which means people have moved in!
One village of interest was the "Stilt Village." Carrie's friend, Melody, said years ago there was a war in Ghana so thousands of people fled to Nigeria. These people were not allowed to own land (or live on the land?) so they built little houses on stilts above the water. Again, they don't have refrigeration, electricity or sewage and they bathe, do laundry and eat the fish from the water that they use as their bathroom. There are approx 1 million people in this village and they have their own government, classroom (notice I didn't write school), maternity, a church and traveling salesmen who sell items from candles and clothes to snacks.
It was a cool tour and we saw more in a couple of hours than some people see in their years living here.


Lagos Guidebook

I was perusing through a Lagos Guidebook and found a few things amusing and/or interesting:

"Nigeria has a quota system for expatriates and the government will stamp most expat spouses' passports "Employment Prohibited." Interesting!

"Police roadblocks are common in Nigeria. Usually foreigners are simply waved through and not asked to stop, but occasionally police like to chat with you. It is best to stay cool, calm and collected..."

"Opening hours aren't strictly adhered to; they're merely guidelines."

"Check the expiration date on goods: you'll find that most price reductions are because the 'use by' dates have come and gone."

"There are several options to paying cash, if you don't want to carry naira around. Some vendors will accept your spouse's business card and allow you to send your driver with money the next day."

"As with any nightlife in a big city, Lagos has its fair share of prostitutes ('nightriders')..."

"Shopping from the car is a common Lagosian phenomenon: a result of the horrendous 'go-slows' (traffic jams). You'll see many young people hawking their wares in amongst the traffic - a seemingly precarious profession but they are very adept at escaping injury. You can buy the most unbelievable things: cheese and butter, net curtains, men's underwear and inflatable Santa Clauses."

The book gives guidelines on how to hire a maid, cook, steward or stewardess, nanny, gardener, guard and driver.

"At the time of writing, the Lagos State Government minimum wage is N5500 a month."
this is $46.66 dollars a month!


Did I mention that food and real estate are really expensive here? A piece of property in Lagos costs approximately 2 million dollars and once a nice home is built it is worth $3,500,000 or so! An average dinner (nothing special) will run around $25 and a local beer will cost you $5. This is pretty high considering that locals here don't even make $5 a day! Can you imagine spending 2 days worth of pay on 1 beer at a restaurant? You could try the local cuisine but I'd make sure to stick close to the bathroom!

A British couple we met had a crate of frozen meats and seafood flown from England here. I have no idea how much that cost but after 6 years of living here that is what they have resorted to. It is a bit of a risk buying meat and dairy products here because the power/refrigeration goes out so often it is hard to know if it has been spoiled.


The power outages are so bad here that the people who can afford it have a generator. The generator here at AIS (American International School) runs an average of 23 hours and 44 minutes a day! This means that the power would normally be off almost all day every day. We still lose power from time to time when there is a problem with the generator or when it needs a break. We've heard the cost of oil to fuel the generator is $60,000 a month!


I played tennis with Carrie's tennis coach a couple of times. I was smoked in 20 minutes with the heat and humidity here. The first time we went to the market we were short on time because it took 12X longer than expected to get there so I made TJ go back for another round of shopping. After that our driver said traffic was too bad to go anywhere so we hung out at Carrie's apartment until she got off work.

We had plans to go to the GQ (U.S. Guest Quarters) to meet Carrie's friends for dinner and since traffic is so bad Carrie's friends recommended taking a ferry that departs very close from her apartment. There were a couple of glitches with this plan. First, the terminal was on the other side of road and getting from one side of the road to the other means you have to drive to the next round about, which took at least a half hour. Next, there were so many cars in line for the ferry that we would have to wait for who knows how long. So, Carrie, TJ & I hopped onto a little passenger boat where of course we were the only non-locals. It was kind of amusing because the passengers on the boat were saying that there wasn't any room but the people running the boat were telling us to get on. We think the passengers thought that if we got on they were going to have to give us their seats and since they paid the fare they wanted to sit down. We stood and the locals sat and they seemed pleased with that. The Marine's vehicle picked us up on the other side and we were at the GQ in seconds.

Carrie gets excited to eat American food, but it isn't quite what you get in the US. I had a Caesar salad and asked for the dressing on the side. That was an easy request to accommodate since they just bring out a bottle of dressing and put it on the table. Of course, the bottle expired 2 years ago. Our group consisted of an older British couple who has lived here for 6 years and their daughter (Carrie's friend), 3 Marines, a gal from the consulate and us. We had a good time as it is very interesting to hear stories told by people who actually live here.

While my emails may make Lagos sound like a dirty, smelly, dangerous, corrupt place (which it is) - we have really enjoyed our time here! We didn't come here to do tourist things because we knew they don't exist. We came here to experience life in Nigeria and to hang out with our friend Carrie. I honestly didn't expect it to be so interesting! Everything we do here is adventure - even if it is just going to the grocery store. We also had the opportunity to meet many really interesting and cool people along the way. I think it takes a truly adventurous person to pick up and move here - especially on a 2 year contract. What I found surprising is that a lot of people are raising their young children here. Their drivers take the kids to school in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon. The cook prepares all of the meals and the nannies tend to the children in the evenings and on the weekends. Where else could you have a driver, nanny and cook/house cleaner (who does laundry and irons too) all for $600 a month? We met a couple that refuses to go back to the US until their children are 18. Interesting. We met another couple from AZ who teach here. Their principal is affiliated with the American International School here and convinced them to come for 2 years. This is the first country they've ever been to out of the US!! I imagine they suffered from serious culture shock!!

Last night at the GQ I met a gal who is here to work for the consulate for 2 years. Her job is to interview Nigerians applying for a visa to the US. Her job is to accept or deny their applications. One of the main considerations for her is whether or not it is possible that the applicant will stay in the US. She told me she just denied a visa for a widow who wanted to attend her son's wedding in the US. She denied the visa because it is probable the woman would not return. She also interviewed a young man who was applying for a student visa. He had REALLY low SAT scores and when she asked him why he wanted to study business in the US he responded, "because my friends are." Of course, she denied his visa. She also interviewed a young woman who had extremely high SAT scores, had applied to 10 universities and been accepted to most of them (which is a huge expense for Nigerians) and went on and on about the chemistry program she hoped to attend and possible thesis topics. Her visa was accepted. People applying for business, student or religious visas are more likely to get a visa than someone wanting to go to the US for tourism. They are very reluctant to grant visas to pregnant women applying for any type of visa as they have caught on that their goal would be to give birth to their child in the US, which would mean the child would be a US citizen. It seems like everyone here has interesting stories to tell.

Yesterday we made a debut in Carrie's classroom. She has kids from all over the world in her classroom and they were very polite and smart. After that we met who were a part in getting TJ and I here so it was nice to meet them. After that we attended a lunch at which the Nigerian staff at Carrie's school were appreciated. They all got baskets of goodies including sugar, flour, toilet paper, oil, etc. Their goodies were things that we take for granted and were well received by the support staff. I thought it was funny that the superintendent pointed out in front of the whole group that he's seen donuts and other goodies in the print shop. It turns out that somehow the teacher who "bribed" the print shop employees ends up getting their papers printed first... There was a spread of Nigerian food (I passed on the snails) and plenty of beer and wine for everyone - which probably wouldn't have been the case in the U.S.

After the luncheon we loaded into cars with several of Carrie's co-workers and went to a hotel that specializes in Soya, which is a beef spiced in flavors that were different from anything I've ever had. It was good stuff! We sat in the hotel's outside dining area overlooking the pool and the beach and had a good time with the people there. There was plenty of beef and beers to go around and it was all fun until we got the bill. A couple of people in the group weren't happy when they saw the price had gone up 3X since they'd been there last!

While we've really enjoyed our time here, everyday I am thankful we were born in the USA!!!

We have a couple of more days in Lagos and then we are off to Egypt, Turkey, Prague and Amsterdam!”